Welcome to the next post in our Writing 101 series: Dialogue Techniques. The first installment covered common mistakes with dialogue mechanics, which are important to master if you want to write clear conversations readers (and editors and agents) can easily follow. But well-written conversations require more than proper punctuation and grammar. So we’re continuing the discussion today by examining effective dialogue techniques that will make your character’s conversations more authentic and purposeful.

Know When to Use Tags and Beats

Dialogue tags (he said, she asked) clarify who’s talking so readers aren’t confused. That’s really their purpose. So use them when speakers are changing during a conversation.

Beats, on the other hand, add context. These actions, thoughts, and physical gestures can show how the character feels or what they’re hiding. Beats add authenticity and information readers can use to better understand what’s happening in the scene.

Beats also impact pacing and can help you create the desired mood. Maintain a quick and snappy pace in action or highly emotional scenes with quick and snappy beats. Want to slow things down? Use languorous, drawn-out beats.

The best way to know when beats or tags should be used is to read your dialogue scenes aloud. If you find yourself stumbling or re-reading for clarity, that’s a sign that those parts need some extra love, and you may want to see if the tags and beats need to be finessed.

Avoid Adverbs in Dialogue Tags

“You’re a liar,” he said angrily.

This is weak dialogue because the adverb tells readers what the character’s feeling. Effective dialogue shows that emotional state through strong verbs and descriptors. If this is what you’re after, use a beat instead:

He grabbed Sam’s shirt, the fabric bunching in his fists. “Liar!”

Grabbing, fisted hands, and a physical altercation are anger cues. So is a raised voice, which is indicated with the exclamation point. Showing takes more effort and words than telling, but it pays off in dialogue that pulls readers in and makes them part of the action. For more information on the importance of showing in fiction and how to do it well, see our Show-Don’t-Tell resource page.

Keep Tags Simple

Because tags are only there to establish who’s talking, it’s best to keep them simple. A common mistake in this area is thinking that more expressive tags are stronger. But tags like exclaimed, cried, shrieked, or interrupted just make the writing feel forced, like it’s trying too hard. Said and asked, on the other hand, have become common enough to be invisible, which is a good idea for tags.

The occasional fancy tag can work, but if you’re trying to show a certain emotional state or intention, it’s usually best to use a beat.

Instead of this:

 “You have to leave,” she whispered.

“Get out!” she screamed.

Do this:

Her voice dropped to a whisper. “You have to leave.”

“Get out!” Her chest heaved and she blinked away tears.

Bottom line: when you opt for a tag, keep it simple, and let the character’s word choices and actions do the heavy emotional lifting.

Vary Beats to Avoid Repeated Sentence Structures

As we practice writing dialogue scenes, it’s easy to fall back on sentence structures that feel comfortable. This is natural, but it can lead to repetitive structures that call attention to themselves.

He stepped forward. “You know how I feel about you.”
She swallowed. “Do I?”
He pushed a curl behind her ear. “How could you not?”

The words and actions in this interaction are believable, but the way they’re conveyed are not. They’re stilted because they’re all following the same Beat, then Speech pattern. Vary the structures to avoid repetition.

 “You know how I feel about you,” he said, stepping into her space.
She swallowed. “Do I?”
He smiled and tucked a curl behind her ear. “How could you not?”

Experiment with the placement and structure of your beats and tags to maintain a pleasant flow. Once again, reading these passages aloud will help you hear redundancies and stumbly parts that need to be reworked.

Don’t Let Your Characters Call Each Other By Name

This is one my personal pet peeves—when characters who know each other use each other’s names.

“Jim, what do you think happens when we die?”
“Well, Tom, let me tell you…”

When people in real life are in the same room and they start talking, there’s no need to call each other by name. So they don’t. But we do this sometimes as writers when we want to be clear about who the participants are and who’s talking. Remember that this is what tags are for, and don’t fall into that trap.

When should you use names in speech?

• When someone new enters the room or conversation
• When emotions are high
• For emphasis: “Rachel, you don’t want to go there.”
• To indicate a shift (in emotion, mood, tone, etc.): The hair on my arms stood on end as the temperature plummeted. We both began to shiver. “Sebastian?”

Avoid “As You Know, Bob” Conversations

This happens when the author needs to relay information to readers, so they do it through characters who already know what’s going on.

“As you know, Bob, the fall festival’s coming up, where children will be bobbing for apples, begging for candy, and generally peeing their pants with excitement.” 

People don’t rehash old information as if it’s new to them. This isn’t natural speech; it’s a contrived device by the author, who is stepping in to explain something to readers. And readers can see that’s exactly what’s happening.

Here are some tips for using dialogue to convey information:

• Don’t use two characters who already know it. Include at least one person who’s being debriefed or is trying to gain knowledge.
• Instead of writing one big scene where all the information is shared, reveal it in bits and pieces over time.
• Use a variety of vehicles (thoughts, flashbacks, mixed media—diary entries, a newspaper clipping, an old photograph, etc.) so you’re not relying solely on dialogue to get the info across.
• For added authenticity, introduce some subtext. What facts aren’t being shared? Who’s holding them back? Are the other characters hiding what they feel or think about the information, and why?

Use Each Character’s Unique Voice

Every person has their own way of talking, their own individual voice, and the same is true for characters. A gruff ex-military type won’t speak the same way as a bubbly teen, and a university professor probably won’t phrase things like a street performer.

Here are some elements that contribute to a character’s unique voice:

• Word choice
• Sentence length and structure
• Tone
• Personality (verbose, timid, introverted, outgoing, controlling, nurturing, etc.)
• Personal beliefs and values
• Personal experiences
• Areas of insecurity
• Fight-flight-or-freeze tendencies
• Go-to emotional responses (natural reactions when they’re nervous, excited, mad, happy, etc.)

The most important step in identifying a character’s voice is to understand who they are. Get to know them, and you’ll start recognizing how they’ll speak and interact with others. Then you can write each character’s voice consistently, and the conversations you write will be more believable.

For more insight on figuring out a character’s voice and writing it well, see the Voice section of our Other Story Elements resource page.

Final Thoughts

Effective dialogue isn’t just about what’s being said. It’s the words each character carefully chooses, how they and the other players feel about those words, what’s left unsaid, and what’s happening beneath the surface. Use tags and beats strategically to keep conversations clear and create a satisfying rhythm. Give each character their own voice. And use dialogue to show (not tell) readers what they need to see and understand.

Above all, remember that perfect dialogue isn’t the goal. Instead, we want purposeful dialogue. When we write these scenes thoughtfully, we put readers in the room with the characters, taking part in the conversation. And that’s exactly where they want to be.

Other Posts in This Series

Dialogue Mechanics

BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

The post Writing 101: Effective Dialogue Techniques appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

When it comes to generating conflict, your character’s personality can help ensure that sparks fly, especially when their traits clash with someone else’s.

When people grate on one another their interactions become filled with misunderstandings, power struggles, one-upmanship, and impatience. Whether allies, enemies, or something in between, contrasting viewpoints and attitudes sharpen dialogue, and if tempers flare too far, friction can become all-out conflict.

And guess what–we want these escalations to happen! They keep relationships from getting stale, add plot complications, and keep the pace moving. So bring on those clashes, problems, and fallout, I say. Let characters get under each other’s skin. When people get along, it sucks the tension out of your story faster than a three hundred year old vampire enjoying a human buffet.

There are many ways to create friction– characters could have opposing goals, be competing for the same thing, or have opposite ideas about the path forward. These setups can all work, but only if they don’t come off like a plot device. For readers to see friction as natural, not manufactured, it needs to come from within the characters. An easy way to do this is to let their opposing personalities do the work.

Leaning into Opposites

The low-hanging fruit of clashing personalities is to play with opposites. Methodical and impulsive. Proper and flamboyant. Perfectionistic and lazy. These combinations can be fun to write while juicing interactions with friction. To find trait combos that will cause natural friction, check out these lists from the Positive Trait Thesaurus and the Negative Trait Thesaurus.

Is your character an obsessive rule follower afraid to step outside his comfort zone? Have him be swept up in friendship with someone spontaneous and a bit rebellious. Or is a coworker stealing the credit for your protagonist’s hard work, but she won’t speak up for herself? Pair her with a new cubicle-mate who has confidence in spades and a vengeful streak that ensures all wrongs will be put right.

Opposite traits can be negative, positive, or one of each. It’s all up to you. And, with a bit of extra thought, opposing traits can serve an even deeper purpose: to spotlight a character flaw that’s holding your protagonist back.

Introduce a Character Foil

A character foil is someone whose traits contrast with the protagonist’s, either in big, obvious ways or through a few key differences. This contrast helps readers see how the protagonist is navigating life differently, and maybe it’s not going so well for them.

When a foil character exhibits traits the protagonist lacks (but needs), it creates a mirror moment. The protagonist starts to see their flaws more clearly, and that realization can become a turning point in their character arc. If they want to move forward, something has to change.

Double Down on the Same Trait

Another method is to give two characters the same trait: controlling and controlling, manipulative and manipulative, idealistic x 2. Positive or toxic, characters with identical traits tend to cause the relationship pot to boil, and soon, the battle royale for dominance is on.

Clashing Traits Don’t Always Mean Fireworks

Sometimes writers get a bit too excited over creating relationship tension, as it can lead to some spectacular clashes. Realistically, though, friction is more about getting under each other’s skin just enough to behave like a passive-aggressive jerk.

When irritated, characters may get snarky in their responses, offer backhanded compliments, or deliver a narrow, you’re so stupid stare. Decisions in the moment can be emotion-driven, too. Maybe they withhold advice, information, help or even share a half-truth, knowing it will mess up the other’s plans. My point is, have fun with your friction, especially if it leads to well-deserved consequences!

Also, Friction Isn’t Always Negative

Not all friction is hostile. It can come from navigating healthy boundaries that characters aren’t used to. It can be a part of the learning curve of new cultures and customs. Even people who want the same thing must figure out how to work together, encountering friction through trial and error.

In romance, attraction creates tension. And much of what makes chemistry sizzle on the page is emotional friction—conflicting desires, fears, and how each handles vulnerability.

Friction happens in friendships, family dynamics, the workplace, and other relationships. Whenever two people are wired differently, there’s an opportunity for tension. Unravelling the ‘why’ behind it is what readers show up for.

Choose a Character’s Personality Traits Carefully

While it might seem like a fun way to add drama, clashing traits shouldn’t be assigned without thought. Each character’s personality is a unique window into who they are, where they came from, and the people and experiences they were exposed to before your story began. Credible characters have traits that make sense for their unique history–that’s a big part of what makes them authentic to readers.

If you’d like to understand more about personality traits and how to choose the right ones for a character, give this a read. Happy writing!

What clashing personality traits have you woven into your relationships? Let me know in the comments!

ANGELA ACKERMAN

Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers, a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.

The post Using a Character’s Personality Traits to Generate Conflict appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

Strong dialogue isn’t just about the words being said—it’s also about how those words are presented on the page.

If you’re newer to writing, there’s a lot to learn about storytelling—from big-picture techniques like show-don’t-tell to the more foundational aspects surrounding punctuation and capitalization. The technical part of writing isn’t very sexy, so we don’t talk much about it. But knowing those basics is super important if we want to write stories that contribute to the reader’s experience instead of interfering with it. And Angela and I want to make sure Writers Helping Writers offers help for authors at all stages and experience levels.

So today I’m starting a new 101 Series surrounding the foundational skills I see writers struggling with the most. Each post will cover a key element of fiction writing, and we’re starting off with dialogue mechanics—because even the most interesting conversations can fall flat if they aren’t written correctly. Poorly drafted dialogue can make the writing clunky, drag the pace, or cause confusion for readers, all of which can pull them out of the story. And no one wants that.

If you’ve ever struggled with where the punctuation goes (inside or outside the quotes?), when to use a comma vs. a period, or when to start a new paragraph in a scene of dialogue, you’re not alone, and this post is for you.

A Few Definitions

Before getting into the common dialogue mistakes, let’s identify three key elements of any good written conversation.

• Dialogue: The actual words spoken by a character. (“I can’t believe it.“)
• Dialogue Tag: A phrase that identifies the speaker. (“I can’t believe it,” she said.)
• Dialogue Beat: An action that accompanies the words being spoken. (“I can’t believe it.” Becca threw the bag of chips in the trash.)

Tags and beats are important because they’re a vital part of our real-life conversations. Including them breaks up the dialogue, creates rhythm, clarifies for readers who’s saying what, and makes the interaction between characters more authentic.

Now that we’re clear on the terminology associated with a passage of dialogue, let’s talk about the familiar stumbling blocks.

1. Proper Punctuation and Capitalization

First, let me start with a disclaimer that the rules I’ll be referencing are specific to American English. I know we have readers in Britain and Canada and many other places where English is used but the rules are slightly different. But because I don’t use the other versions and can’t speak to proper usage, and because the majority of our readers are using American English for their manuscripts and submissions, I’ll be focusing on that today.

So, in American English, always use double quotes for dialogue. Single quotes have their own purpose, but they shouldn’t be used as the main marks for dialogue.

When it comes to the rest of the punctuation for a line of dialogue…well, that depends on the sentence structure.

Complete Sentences with Tags

We know a complete sentence has a subject and verb that conveys a complete thought. In dialogue, you can determine if the sentence is complete by removing the tag or beat and just looking at the words inside the quotation marks.

When a complete sentence of dialogue is accompanied by a tag, the sentence should be punctuated as follows:

“I love these chips,” she said.

Because the tag is part of the sentence, the period goes at the end, after “said.” The dialogue portion ends with a comma (since it’s not the end of the sentence yet), and the tag begins with a lowercase letter because it’s in the middle of the sentence.

If the dialogue consists of a question instead of a statement, use a question mark instead of a comma inside the quotation marks. The period still goes at the end. And if you’re using someone’s name instead of a pronoun, it should be obviously capitalized.

“Do you like pickle chips?” Angela asked.
“Pickle chips make me barf,” Becca said.

A Complete Sentence with the Tag in the Middle

If a dialogue tag comes in the middle of a sentence, treat it as an interruption to the complete sentence, and use commas to separate it:

“I think,” she said, “barbecue flavor is the best.”

Note that the punctuation before the closing quotation mark in each segment is inside the marks. Also, because this is one complete sentence, the only capital letter is at the beginning. The exception would be if the tag contained a proper noun (Becca said); then the noun would be capitalized, too.

Sentences with Beats Instead of Tags

Beats are meant to stand alone and should usually be written in complete sentences themselves.

Angela shook her head. “I really don’t understand you.”

The beat is a complete sentence, and so is the dialogue. So both elements start with a capital and end with a period (or question mark or exclamation point as needed).

2. A Word About Thoughts

While we’re talking about different kinds of dialogue, let’s look quickly at thoughts. Because they aren’t spoken, they shouldn’t have quotation marks. However, the formatting is different depending on whether the thought is direct or indirect.

Direct Thoughts capture the character’s exact thoughts and are always italicized. Notice that any tags aren’t italicized (because the tag isn’t part of the character’s actual thought).

Please, no more, I thought.

Enough with the dad jokes.

Indirect Thoughts summarize what the character is thinking. Because they’re not exact thoughts, they aren’t italicized and are formatted like regular text.

She thought he was quite tasty.

He really hoped she wasn’t interested in him that way.

3. When Should a New Paragraph Start?

A common area of struggle in dialogue is knowing when to start a new paragraph. It’s an important question because if we get this wrong, the reader is confused about who’s saying and doing what:

“No car for a week?” Ivy’s voice squeaked into the stratosphere. “That’s ridiculous!” her brother said. “Everybody just calm down.”

But when we start a new paragraph each time the speaker changes, things become much clearer.

“No car for a week?” Ivy’s voice squeaked into the stratosphere.
“That’s ridiculous!” Jacob said.
“Everybody just calm down.”

This rule holds true for beats, too. If Character 2 does something while Character 1 is talking, that action needs to go into its own paragraph.

“So I hit a mailbox,” Ivy said. “Also, the shepherd in the church’s nativity scene is now sheep-less.”
Her mother closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath.
“And I may have taken out Mr. Henderson’s azaleas—but that totally wasn’t my fault!”

4. Interruptions and Hesitations

Real-life dialogue is full of interruptions, stops and starts, and people talking over each other. Your characters’ conversations should be no different. Luckily, the punctuation for each of these is pretty simple.

Use Em Dashes for Interruptions

When your character’s being interrupted, use an em dash (—) inside the quotation marks to show their words are being cut off. This is true whether the interruption comes in the form of someone’s words or actions.

Her mom’s eyebrows shot upward. “The azaleas? Ivy—”
“It was a squirrel,” Jacob sputtered. “A deranged, kamikaze squirrel that fell out of a tree and stumbled right into the road. It was rabid, foaming at the mouth—”
Ivy shoved him. “You’re not helping.”

Use an Ellipse for Hesitations

Interruptions indicate a clean break, with the person’s speech abruptly stopping. Hesitations are more, well…hesitant. If there’s a pause in your character’s speech, or if their dialogue trails off slowly rather than bluntly, use an ellipse.

“Seemed deranged,” Jacob mumbled. “Stumbling…middle of traffic…” He rubbed the back of his neck and decided Ivy could fight her own battles.

Clean Dialogue Makes for Stronger Writing and Easier Reading

The mechanics of dialogue may not be the most exciting thing to study but mastering them makes your story easier to read and understand. The good news is that, like most elements of writing, the more you incorporate proper punctuation, capitalization, and paragraphing into your dialogue, the easier it gets. Then you can move on to higher level techniques that will make your characters’ conversations authentic, engaging, and full of added depth—techniques that we’ll discuss in our next 101 post.

For more help with the nitty-gritty of dialogue (and other) mechanics, give English Grammar for Dummies a try.
(affiliate link)

BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

The post Writing 101: Dialogue Mechanics appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

Realistic, evocative dialogue is an important part of any successful story. We need our characters’ interactions to be authentic, consistent, and engaging to draw readers in to what’s happening. So when we’re learning to write, we spend a lot of time on mechanics—learning all the grammar and punctuation rules. But proper form is just the first step.

When writing strong dialogue, we often forget that real-life conversations are rarely straightforward. On the surface, it may seem we’re engaging in simple back-and-forth, but if you look deeper, to some degree our conversations are carefully constructed. We hide our emotions, withhold information, dance around what we really mean, avoid certain topics, downplay shortcomings, or emphasize strengths—all of which leads to exchanges that aren’t totally honest.

Completely candid dialogue scenes fall flat because that’s not the way people converse. Subtext plays a huge role in conversation. It’s often tied to how characters are feeling, which can trigger readers’ emotions and increase their engagement. So we need to include this crucial element in our dialogue scenes.

Simply, subtext is the underlying meaning. Hidden elements the character isn’t comfortable sharing—their true opinions, what they really want, what they’re afraid of, and emotions that make them feel vulnerable—constitute the subtext. They’re important because the character wants them hidden. This results in contradictory words and actions.

A Subtext Example

Consider this exchange between a teen-aged daughter and her dad.

“So how’d the party go?”

Dionne plastered on a smile and buried herself in Instagram. “Great.”

“See, I knew you’d have a good time. Who was there?”

Her mouth went dry, but she didn’t dare swallow. Despite the hour, Dad’s eyes shone and searched, spotlights carving her mocha-infused fog.

“The usual. Sarah, Allegra, Jordan.” She shrugged. Nothing to see here. Move along.

“What about Trey? I ran into his mom at the office yesterday and she said he was going.”

“Um, yeah. I think he was there.” She scrolled, images blurring.

“He sounds like a good kid. Maybe we could have him and his mom over for dinner.”

Her stomach lurched. “Oh, I don’t know.” Her fingers trembled, so she abandoned the phone and sat on her hands to keep them still. “We don’t really hang with the same crowd.”

“Well, think about it. Couldn’t hurt to branch out and get to know some new people.”

Dionne blew out a shaky breath. How could her dad be so smart at work and so stupid about people?

Something happened at the party involving a boy Dionne’s now avoiding, and she clearly doesn’t want her father to know about it. While Dad is kept in the dark, the reader becomes privy to Dionne’s true emotions: nervousness, fear, and possibly guilt.

This is the beauty of subtext in dialogue. It allows the character to carry on whatever subterfuge she deems necessary while revealing her true emotions and motivations to the reader. It’s also a great way to add tension and conflict. Without subtext, this scene is boring, just two people chatting. With it, we see Dionne desperately trying to keep her secrets while it becomes increasingly difficult—even unhealthy—to do so.

So how do we write subtext into our characters’ conversations without confusing the reader? It just requires combining five common vehicles for showing emotion. Let’s look at how these were used in the example.

1. Dialogue

We all go a little Pinocchio when we start talking, and Dionne is no exception. Her words scream status quo: nothing happened at the party and she doesn’t feel anything in particular. But the reader can clearly see this isn’t the case.

2. Body Language

Nonverbal communication often reveals to readers the truth beneath a character’s words. Notice Dionne’s body language: the plastered-on smile, frantic social media scrolling, and trembling hands. Readers hear what she’s saying, but her body language clues them in that something else is going on.

3. Visceral Reactions

These are the internal physical responses to high emotion. They’re not visible, but the point-of-view character will likely reference them, since they’re so strong. Here, Dionne’s dry mouth and lurching stomach contradict her claims that everything went swimmingly at the party.

4. Thoughts

Because they’re private, thoughts are honest. Dionne’s mental musings (nothing to see here; move along) show that she desperately wants her father to drop this line of questioning. And her final bit of internal dialogue reinforces that she knows something he doesn’t. Because there’s no reason for characters to disguise their thoughts, this can be the best vehicle for showing readers the truth behind the words.

5. Vocal Cues

We choose our words carefully when we’re hiding something; we may even do certain things with our body to fool others. But when emotions are in flux, the voice often changes, and at first, there’s nothing we can do to stop it. Shifts in volume, pitch, timbre, and speed of speech happen before the character can force the voice back into submission. So variations in vocal cues can show readers that not all is as it seems.

Nonverbal vehicles are like annoying little brothers and sisters, tattling on the dialogue and revealing true emotion. Put them all together and they fill out the character’s narrative and paint a complete picture for readers. And you’ll end up with nuanced and emotionally layered dialogue that can intrigue readers and pull them deeper into your story.

BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

The post Five Vehicles for Adding Subtext to Dialogue appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

Have you ever watched a movie based on a book you read and realized the book is so much better? As a writer, this phenomenon excites me, because we can create an experience for readers with words that studios are desperate to replicate with their huge budgets. But how can that be? Will books become obsolete as more and more content streams into homes? I highly doubt it. Writers have a few tricks up their sleeves that movies can’t use. And if you combine these elements on your pages, you’ll create an immersive experience that all the money in the world can’t put on the screen.

Movies rely on 3 elements of writing in their scripts to tell their stories – Setting, Dialogue, and Actions.

They can also use music, lighting, and special effects to enhance the whole experience.

Writers have 2 extra elements at their disposal – Reactions, and Inner Thoughts.

(Strictly speaking, movies can try to replicate Inner Thoughts by using an actor’s voiceover, but that gets annoying quickly if overused – advantage, writers!)

That’s right, only in books can a reader climb into a character’s skin and experience their world through their eyes. This is why books aren’t going anywhere, and why many times, the book is better than the movie!

The 5 Elements of Writing Include

Element 1: Setting – Your world is alive in your head as you write. Make sure that you’re giving your reader some hints along the way to help them construct your beautiful world in their minds. Try sprinkling 2-3 details of your world by letting your characters interact with your setting at the top of each scene, or immediately after the characters arrive at a new destination within a scene to make your setting pop.

Element 2: Dialogue – Just like a movie director, you as the writer can decide when to zoom way out and let time pass quickly for your characters, sharing only summary details like a movie montage, or zoom right in close and hear everything that they have to say. Dialogue is a great tool to include when you’re zooming in, letting us hear the actual words that characters say to one another. Dialogue in books is trickier to punctuate than you think, and many writers get this wrong, consistently. Check out my dialogue punctuation cheat sheet that should clear up any questions you have and get you punctuating dialogue like a pro, once and for all.

Element 3: Actions – This element includes describing all the stuff that characters get up to in your book. These actions can be small, such as scratching a nose during a conversation, or huge, such as jumping in front of a moving train to save their nemesis and furthering your plot.

Element 4: Reactions – When done right, sharing how a character reacts or feels in their Point of View will have your reader laughing, crying, or sitting on the edge of their seat right along with your characters! The Emotion Thesaurus is an amazing resource to get your creative juices flowing and practice how to get these emotions and reactions on your page.

Element 5: Inner Thoughts – This one is the slam dunk element that will tip your readers over the edge, falling into your pages. Whether you have a narrator, or it’s written from a character’s Point of View (POV), they are your reader’s guide on the journey, and will let the reader know how to feel and react to the story as they go. Let this inner voice of your POV character(s) shine, giving meaning to the events that unfold in your book’s plot. This element is what gives your story personality, helping it stand out from the rest, so have fun with it. 

What if the 5 Elements of Writing aren’t Balanced on Your Pages? 

Have you ever read (or written!) a scene that feels a little flat, and you just can’t seem to put your finger on why? Chances are, the writer has leaned too heavily on 1-2 of these elements of writing for a page or more, without taking full advantage of the full range at their disposal. Reading passages like this feels more like a chore, and readers will disengage.

Some examples of the elements being out of balance are:

• Including long paragraphs of setting description clumped together without anything happening in the scene. Readers can only digest so much information at once, and if you include too much (commonly referred to as an info dump), readers will start to skim to get back to the action on the page, missing all your beautiful descriptions.
• A page or more of quick back and forth dialogue, with minimal actions inserted between what each character is saying. This is a problem commonly called talking heads, where it feels like your characters are just heads blabbing back and forth, not providing any context. You can have quick exchanges, but keep these short and to the point for maximum impact.
• Long tirades in a character’s head (Inner Thoughts), while not moving the story forward. This one feels a lot like an info dump to read.
• Scenes that go from action to action, meticulously detailing the things your characters do, without giving them time to React, or reflect on what it means to them in that moment using Inner Thoughts.

The good news is, this imbalance is easy to spot when reading your own drafts, and easy to fix. In addition to simply counting the number of elements you’ve used on each page using the list in this article, you can spot areas in your draft that need attention quickly, paying attention to the white space on the page.

• A long section relying heavily on quick dialogue is easy to spot when there is lots of white space on your page.
• Too much setting description or inner thoughts is easy to spot when the text is dense on your pages, with long paragraphs and few breaks

Having awareness of the 5 Elements of Writing in your writers’ toolbelt will help you craft pages that hold your reader’s attention, making it feel three dimensional. Using 3 or more of these Elements on each page will keep your reader’s brain engaged and make your scenes feel richer and fuller, even better than the movie will be when it comes out.

SUZY VADORI - Resident Writing Coach

Suzy Vadori is the award-winning author of The Fountain Series. She is a certified Book Coach with Author Accelerator and the Founder of Wicked Good Fiction Bootcamp. Suzy breaks down important writing concepts into practical steps to make it easy for writers coming from outside the industry to get up to speed in a snap, so that they can realize their big, wild writing dreams!

In addition to her weekly newsletter encouraging writers, and online courses, Suzy offers both developmental editing and 1:1 Book Coaching. Find out more about our RWC team here and discover how to connect with Suzy and all the resources she has to offer here.

The post Using the 5 Elements of Writing to Immerse Readers appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

Story conflict has many purposes. It provides opportunities for failure and growth, elevates what’s at stake, and escalates emotion for the character and readers. We also know that our stories will need many instances of conflict, both at the story (macro) and scene (micro) level. But how do we know what kinds to add to the mix? 

First and foremost, conflict must further the story. There are lots of interesting and compelling scenarios that we authors might like to pursue. But, as with every aspect of storytelling, we must separate ourselves from the process to make sure we’re not projecting ourselves—our interests and desires—onto the character and the story. Sure, we might want to write a drunken brawl scene, but would that scenario be likely for our protagonist? Will it reveal something about the character, like a weakness or need, or is it just there to “spice up” a boring scene? 

The best way to incorporate convincing conflict scenarios into a story is to pull them organically from the elements that are already there. Conflict is lurking all around your characters and the story world, so grab a stick and start poking to see what shakes loose. 

Start With the Story’s Cast 

Where does most of our conflict come from in real life? That’s right: other people. Loved ones, extended family, roommates, co-workers, neighbors, friends, complete strangers—each one can cause us grief on a number of levels. The same is true for our characters. Anyone interacting with them is a potential source for trouble. 

This is why planning your story’s cast ahead of time can be so beneficial. Think about what kinds of people might have crossed swords with your character at some point, will rub him the wrong way, or have goals that are in opposition to his own. Think about which traits might get under your character’s skin. What attitudes or morals will be difficult for him to accept? 

Then—you guessed it—build characters with those traits, habits, histories, and goals into the story. If each character stays true to form, tensions will inevitably rise. Not a planner? Not a problem. When you need a reasonable conflict scenario that will provide a certain outcome, consider who in the character’s life you could use to make that happen. This handy directory of adversaries might provide inspiration in this area. 

Let Your Characters Talk 

Once you’ve assembled your cast, just let them talk, and conflict is sure to follow. Dialogue is a great troublemaker because it can cause minor, surface-level tension or set the ball rolling for something huge, like the end of a relationship or a global clash. You’re already including it in your story, so make it do double duty and use it to initiate problems for your character. Here are just a few conversational techniques you can use to generate conflict in a scene.

Unintentional Clashes 

So much of conflict is unintentional—meaning, the person causing the problem isn’t trying to ruffle feathers. Often, it comes down to basic personality quirks, such as someone who is always interrupting, a tactless party who unknowingly causes offense, or a chronic multitasker who doesn’t listen carefully and makes your character feel undervalued. Of course, any of these irritations can be applied to the protagonist instead of the other party, and you get the same result. 

Enough of these slight aggravations can add up throughout one conversation (or over the course of many) and lead to explosions. When a character loses control of their emotions, they are much more apt to speak their mind, cut the other person down, or reveal information they meant to hold back. And what do all of these responses lead to? More conflict. 

Confrontational Communicators 

Purposeful conflict in dialogue can be subtle or overt, depending on the situation and the goal being pursued. The character may be looking to manipulate an exchange to achieve a specific outcome, inflame everyone’s emotions, damage a reputation, or completely eviscerate an enemy with words. Characters who are purposely looking to cause trouble in a conversation might…

• Make a threat or say something to intimidate
• Deploy insults, sarcasm, and belittlement
• Manipulate the conversation toward a topic or away from one 
• Shift the focus to someone else to put them in the hot seat 
• Purposely ask about something that will make the other person uncomfortable 
• Deceive the other party through lies, omissions, and exaggerations
• Bring up a sensitive topic to provoke an emotional reaction 
• Reveal a secret, stance, or mistake to damage a rival’s standing in the group 
• Ask questions the character knows the other person can’t answer, making them look bad
• Call the protagonist out (for a mistake, something they said or did, etc.) to steal their self- esteem 
• Deliberately provoke an argument
• Make insinuations (about someone’s loyalty, capabilities, etc.) to sow doubt
• Make a derogatory statement and pass it off as a joke
• Suggest disloyalty if the other party doesn’t agree, which forces them to do just that 

When two or more characters are battling it out in conversation, each is seeking the upper hand. The exchange may appear respectful if others are watching or a certain level of decorum must be observed. In these cases, it may not be what the characters say as much as how they say it, or what doublespeak or innuendo they can safely deploy to score a hit that will go over someone’s head. When a comment does leave a mark, show it by using body language, facial tics, and vocal shifts to reveal the character’s waning level of emotional restraint. 

Opposing Motivations 

One of the main drivers for conflict in dialogue is that the parties involved don’t always have the same purposes. One person might be trying to connect with the protagonist while the protagonist only wants to gain information. One may be seeking to protect a secret while the other is trying to bring it to light. Another person might be pursuing a conversation because they want to show off their knowledge while the other participant only wants to prove their own rightness. 

Motivation plays a huge part in conflict development at all story levels because conflict typically arises when characters don’t get what they want. So when you’re planning your protagonist’s conversations, consider what they’re after. What are they hoping to achieve through that discussion? Then pit them against someone whose goal is in opposition to theirs. 

This is just a sampling of the conversational techniques you can use to generate authentic conflict. If you’re ever at a loss for ideas, think about the conversations you’ve recently had that irked you, even a little bit. Examine the tactics involved and add them to your character’s interactions with others. 

For more information on how to effectively and genuinely add this important storytelling element to your writing, check out the Conflict Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Obstacles, Adversaries, and Inner Struggles (Volume 1) and (Volume 2). In total, you’ll find over 230 unique conflict scenarios, neatly grouped by category.

BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

The post Need Conflict? Just Let Your Characters Talk appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

Dialogue—good dialogue—is tricky. Mechanics can be learned; the rules are readily available and are hammered into us by teachers, editors, critique partners, and countless Facebook memes. The hard part of writing good dialogue is nailing the back-and-forth, the natural ebb and flow that turns dialogue into convincing conversation.

This is the part that will make or break you with readers. They’re intimately familiar with conversation; it’s how they communicate, how they connect with others. So when a bit of dialogue falls flat or doesn’t ring true, it’s like an off-pitch violin sawing away in an otherwise harmonious orchestra.

So how do we make our characters’ discussions authentic? One way is to showcase what they’re hiding. 

In the real world, we’re rarely 100% honest in our communications with others.  It may not be conscious, but we’re always withholding something—hiding how we feel about a subject, suppressing information, agreeing with someone when in actuality we don’t agree with them at all…Much of the time, we’re only telling part of the truth. 

This will be true of your character, too, and for their dialogue to resonate with readers, you need to be able to show what’s being repressed. To discover this, you first need to know what the character is hoping to get out of the discussion. 

When a person engages in conversation, they do so with a certain objective in mind (even if it’s subconscious). When you identify that goal for your character, you’ll know what they’ll be likely to hold back. So ask yourself: Which of the following outcomes is my character trying to achieve with this conversation?

• Connecting with others
• Getting information
• Giving information
• Persuading someone to their way of thinking
• Being affirmed or agreed with
• Gaining an advantage
• Being proven right
• Getting attention
• Gaining an ally or advantageous contact

Once you know what your character wants, it’s a matter of figuring out what they might be holding back during that exchange. Consider the usual suspects:

Emotions

Feelings are largely what make us human. We connect emotionally with others, so being able to accurately communicate our feelings is important. But emotions also make us vulnerable, so in many scenarios, your character may think it’s in her best interest to mask what she’s feeling. If she’s attracted to someone, she may downplay that until she can see how the other person feels. Sadness is often perceived as weakness, so she might not be willing to put that on display. The same is true with fear. Personality also plays a part in how your character conveys emotion, so there’s a lot to consider when figuring out which feelings your character is likely to hide. 

COOL TOOL TIP: One tool to simplify this process is the One Stop for Writers’ Character Builder. This tool helps you explore all the important aspects of your character so you can be sure all their pieces fit together.

When it comes to hidden emotion, the Emotional Range section in the Behavior tab allows you to play with some vital pieces of information: Is your character reserved or demonstrative to begin with? What emotions are they uncomfortable expressing? What is the character in denial about (and is therefore unwilling or unable to access their true emotions)? What situation might cause them to overreact (possibly because it hits too close to home and touches on emotions they’d rather not share)? 

Questions like these provide insight into your character’s emotional range. They can help you determine which feelings your character is comfortable with and which ones she’s likely to whitewash. 

Opinions

We all have opinions about stuff, and we like to share them. But we’re also social creatures, wanting to be accepted by others. Sometimes, those two desires are at cross purposes, meaning we can’t both share our opinions and connect with people. This is why your character might not be entirely forthcoming about his true beliefs at a job interview, on a first date, when he’s meeting his future in-laws, at church, or in any other situation where doing so could undermine his goal in that moment. 

COOL TOOL TIP: The Character Builder’s Family and General Life section (part of the Daily Life tab) contains tons of questions that could flush out their opinions—ones the character feels really strongly about and those they’d rather other people didn’t know:

• How does the character feel about their job/school?
• Who does the character despise?
• What are they passionate about?
• Are they religious?
• What topics of conversation will get them riled up?
• How does the character spend their free time?

Personality Traits

Strengths and weaknesses commingle to form our individual personalities: we’re patient but selfish, generous but impulsive, irresponsible but encouraging. Our strengths are easy to show off because they make us look good. 

But weaknesses? While everyone has them, we don’t want people to know what they are. So we hide the traits we deem as being less valuable, the ones that could hurt our standing with others. Maybe it’s a flaw that isn’t appreciated in society, like cruelty or intolerance. Perhaps it’s something an important person in our life doesn’t value, like a father who can’t stand indecisiveness or a grandparent who thought generous people were suckers. It may not be a conscious decision, but we all highlight our admirable traits and hide the ones that make us look bad. The same should be true of our characters.

COOL TOOL TIP: Figuring out your character’s flaws and attributes (and which ones they may want to downplay) is super easy with the Character Builder. Brainstorm the reasons behind their traits by examining past influences that may have caused them to form.

Then explore various traits to see how they’ll manifest and what emotions might be tied to them.

Information

Rarely do we reveal everything we know. Communication very often is about the give and take of information, so unlike some of the other things we might hide, this one is usually more purposeful. Our characters should play their cards close to the vest, not sharing information that could hurt them, make them feel uncomfortable, or impede their goals. They may choose to hold an important tidbit back until they have a better feel for how the conversation is going or where the other person stands. Information is always currency; in dialogue, it should be doled out carefully and thoughtfully.

Knowing what your character wants out of a conversation and what he’s going to hide while engaging in it will help you write dialogue that rings true, because readers will see themselves in those ambiguous moments. Granted, there’s a knack to writing the inconsistency between your character’s words and what they really think or feel. That’s a post in and of itself. For now, this tip sheet has some great advice on how to write subterfuge in dialogue. (You can see all our tip sheets about various aspects of storytelling on the OSFW Tip Sheets page.)

What else might your characters hold back in their conversations?

BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

The post Subterfuge in Dialogue appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

By Becca Puglisi

Any Tolkien fans in the house? I remember, as a teen, reading The Hobbit by the fire on a rare cold evening in Florida. It became a favorite that I would re-read until my copy literally fell to pieces.

One of my favorite scenes comes right at the beginning: the Unexpected Party. There are a lot of reasons it works so well—one of which is everything Bilbo is not saying. When the dwarves arrive (and keep arriving), he wants to know what they’re doing there, but instead of asking, he puts on his Happy Homemaker face and gets to work being hospitable. As it gets late, he doesn’t show them the door. He refrains from telling Thorin to get off his high horse and show some gratitude for Bilbo funding his little reunion, though you know that’s what he’s thinking.

The interactions between Bilbo and the dwarves ring true precisely because of all the subtext—the contrast between what the character says and what he’s really feeling or thinking. This subtext is a normal part of most real-life conversations; for this reason alone, it should be included in our characters’ conversations. But it’s also useful because whenever a character is hiding something, there’s inherent emotion involved. Emotion is good for our stories because well-written, clearly conveyed character feelings will often engage the reader’s emotions, pulling them deeper into what’s happening. So subtext is good on a number of levels.

But writing hidden emotion is challenging. Authors have to show the character portraying one emotion to the cast (pleasure, in Bilbo’s case) while showing his true feelings to the reader (confusion, frustration, and indignance). It’s a tall order, but this is where vocal cues can come in handy.

Vocal cues are shifts in the voice that happen when someone is feeling emotional. While we may be able to hide our feelings by masking our facial expressions and minimizing certain body language giveaways, the voice is harder to control. In a written scene, these vocal fluctuations act like signposts, leading the reader to the conclusions you want them to draw about the character’s true emotional state.

So when you need to show that a character is hiding their feelings from others, consider the following vocal cues.

Pitch

Does the voice get high and shrill or go low and rumbly?

Volume

Does the character move from a moderated level to almost yelling? Does the voice drop to a near whisper? Is it clear that they’re struggling to maintain a reasonable volume?

Tone

Does a clear tone turn breathy or husky when someone is aroused? When the character is close to tears, does the voice become brittle or cracked? Does it lose all expression and become flat when anger hits?

Speech Patterns

Does your verbose character suddenly clam up? Does her timid, verbally stumbling counterpart start running at the mouth? Might poor grammar appear in a well-educated character’s dialogue? Does a stammer or lisp announce itself?

Word Choice

What words might slip into a character’s vernacular when they’re feeling emotional that they wouldn’t normally use? Profanity and slurs? Words and phrases from their first language? Pat clichés?

Nonspeech Interruptions

What sounds begin to pepper your character’s dialogue? Um, Hmm, Uhhh, throat clearing, and coughing can be signs that the character is uncomfortable and needs time to pull him or herself together.

For your character, consider which of these cues might be a possibility, then write it into the story when their emotion changes. Used consistently, they’ll signal the reader that the character is hiding something or that a certain emotion is in play.

Granted, for this to work, you need to first establish a baseline. Figure out your character’s normal speech patterns and habits and write those consistently so readers will get used to them. Then, when a vocal cue is used, they’ll know to take a closer look to see what the character is hiding.

For more information (and a handy reference), see our Deception in Dialogue Tip Sheet at One Stop for Writers.

And check out the 2^nd edition of The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression, which is a treasure trove of information on how to show exactly what your character’s feeling—even when they want to keep it hidden.

What vocal cue might work well for your character? What cues have you seen successfully used to hint at hidden emotion? I’d love to hear from you. 

BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

The post Using Vocal Cues to Show Hidden Emotion appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

By Becca Puglisi

I’ve been thinking a lot about dialogue lately, because when it’s done poorly, it pulls me right out of the story. There are a lot of issues that contribute to weak dialogue: incorrect mechanics, stilted speech, characters calling each other repeatedly by name (Hi, Bob. Hey, Mary. Could you help me with this, Bob? Sure thing, Mary!)…The list goes on. But instead of talking today about the wrong parts of our characters’ conversations, I want to focus on an important element that’s often missing: tension.

Tension is that gut-curdling, oh-crap feeling you get when you realize trouble’s coming. It’s the rising emotion that emerges at the onset or even the barest hint of conflict. Tension is incredibly important because it stirs the reader’s emotion and builds their interest. It should exist in every scene, and an easy way to add it is through our characters’ verbal interactions.

Think about recent conversations—verbal or written—that have generated tension for you. They probably come to mind pretty quickly. This is because every person is different, and when these differences manifest in our communication, it can result in misunderstandings that lead to heightened emotion. The same should be true for our characters. So if you’re looking for ways to up the tension in a scene, plan any verbal exchanges thoughtfully by incorporating one or more of the following elements.

Personality Clashes

At her core, who is your character, and how does she communicate? Maybe she’s very efficient—a fixer who quickly and accurately analyzes and applies information. Now suppose she’s talking to someone with a disorganized mind and rambling conversational style. This can cause frustration for your character, who just wants her friend to get to the point already. She responds by cutting him off, or nods her head impatiently while he’s talking. This triggers the friend’s defenses, putting him on edge. When you build your cast with personality and the potential for conflict in mind, those tension landmines are easy to set.

Opposing Goals

Characters often have conflicting story and scene goals, but what about opposing goals in conversations? We do this all the time in real life—talking to people with a subconscious objective in mind. Your protagonist might be communicating with someone because they want to be heard and appreciated. But what if the other party just wants to prove they’re right? Each character will try and guide the conversation toward what they want, and someone—maybe both parties—will be thwarted. When even our small goals are threatened, our emotions kick in, so this can be a good way to add tension to a scene.

Emotions in Play

We’ve all experienced this situation: you start a conversation with someone who, out of nowhere, bites your head off. Upon closer examination, you realize that the person was upset about something that had nothing to do with you. This universal scenario can be used in our stories. Pile on the emotional baggage just before an interaction, then sit back and watch the sparks fly.

Insecurities

Our insecurities hobble us all the time. We’re sensitive to certain kinds of comments or tones and read unintended meaning into harmless banter. Think about how this might play out with your character. What are his insecurities—in general, but also regarding this particular person or situation? How might they impact him in an upcoming conversation?

Bias

How often have you engaged in conversation with an expectation in mind for what the other person will say or how it’s going to go? Sometimes our biases are confirmed, but just as often, they taint our interactions, dooming them to failure before they even begin. We may have a chip on our shoulder that sets a negative tone for the entire exchange. Expecting certain things, we might read into what the other person is saying, misconstruing their true meaning or intent. When it comes to your character, ask yourself: Is there any bias he might bring into this conversation that could result in misunderstanding?

Assumptions

Maybe you’ve heard the old saying about the word assume: it makes an ass out of u and me. How many arguments and mix-ups have come about because of incorrect assumptions? How can we apply this common occurrence in our stories? Think about what knowledge your protagonist may take for granted—something they think the other person knows or doesn’t know. Or maybe they believe that the person shares their opinion about a certain topic when they really think the opposite. How might assumptions like these cause a conversation to go south?

Small Annoyances

Your protagonist might begin a scene with great intentions, expecting to enjoy a happy chat with one of their favorite people. And everything is fine—until that person starts doing something that grates on your character’s nerves. Frequent interruptions, talking with their mouth full, listening while checking their email, consistently mispronouncing a certain word—it could be literally anything that drives your character bonkers. What might that thing be for your protagonist? What quirks can you give the other party to add an element of tension to the conversation?

Cultural Differences

A character’s culture is going to impact their communication style, determining what is acceptable and what isn’t, what’s respectful and what’s offensive. Gestures, eye contact, word choices, personal space—these things vary from one locale to another. Your character’s ignorance about these factors could result in all kinds of fallout, from busted business deals and problems at work to the death of a budding romance. This is definitely something to keep in mine in a multi-cultural cast.

Subtext

I’ve saved this one for last because it plays a very subtle part in most conversations, but it’s so understated, we don’t always pick up on it. Subtext is what you really mean, as opposed to what you say. It’s saying He seems nice when what you really mean is He is a tool of the highest order. We’re not always 100% honest with our words, and the same should be true of our characters. When we take the time to figure out what they really think or want to hide, we end up with interactions that are realistic and nuanced. And the potential for tension and conflict are huge.

These are just some of the elements that can contribute to misunderstandings and tension in our characters’ conversations. Regardless of which you choose to explore, there’s one thing they all have in common: unrealized expectations. The protagonist expects Character B to share her beliefs, want what she wants, have a base of knowledge on which to build, or communicate the same way. When these expectations are shattered, it sets her back on her heels and triggers frustration, embarrassment, hurt, and a range of other emotions. So figure out what your character expects out of a conversation, then block her, and tension is sure to follow.

BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

The post 9 Tension-Building Elements For Character Dialogue appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

Those of you who are familiar with me know that Angela Ackerman and I talk a lot about emotion. A LOT.

That’s because we believe that clearly conveying emotion—particularly that of the protagonist or viewpoint character—plays an important role in building reader empathy. If we can build a strong connection for the reader, they’ll become invested in the character and be more likely to keep reading.

The other reason character emotion is so important is that it draws the reader into the story. If we’re able to show emotion well, we heighten the reader’s experience; instead of them sitting back and being told about the character’s emotions, they’re feeling them as the story goes along. They’re invited to share in the journey.

That level of engagement is critical if we’re going to pull readers into our stories and keep them there.

Quick Recap: How to Show a Viewpoint Character’s Emotion

Here’s an example of character emotion that has been shown, taken from the 2nd Edition of the Emotion Thesaurus:

JoAnne sat on the chair’s edge, spine straight as a new pencil, and stared into Mr. Paxton’s face. Sixteen years she’d given him—days she was sick, days the kids were sick—making the trip back and forth across town on that sweaty bus. Now he wouldn’t even look at her, just kept fiddling with her folder and pushing around the fancy knickknacks on his desk. Maybe he didn’t want to give her the news, but she wasn’t gonna make it easy for him.

Mr. Paxton cleared his throat for the hundredth time. The vinyl of JoAnne’s purse crackled and she lightened her grip on it. Her picture of the kids was in there and she didn’t want it creased.

“JoAnne…Mrs. Benson…it appears that your position with the company is no longer—”

JoAnne jerked to her feet, sending her chair flying over the tile. It hit the wall with a satisfying bang as she stormed out of the office.

Through a combination of body language, thoughts, and reactions, we can see what JoAnne is feeling without her ever stating it outright. And because we’ve also learned something about who she is and where she’s coming from, our empathy is piqued. So showing emotion for our protagonist pays off in spades.

But How Do I Show Emotions for Other Characters?

That example may not be news to you, since the importance of showing emotion has been discussed quite a bit. What hasn’t been talked much about is how to convey the feelings of a non-viewpoint character (NVPC).

Unless you’re writing in omniscient viewpoint, you’ll need to stick closely to your main character’s point of view and won’t be able to share what’s happening internally for anyone else. So how do you convey the emotions of the other people in your story?

Technique #1: Outer Manifestations

When you’re in the main character’s head, you can’t access the thoughts and internal sensations of other cast members to show what they’re feeling. But you can use the outer manifestations of their emotions because the viewpoint character will be able to notice those.

In the example above, we can tell that Mr. Paxton is uncomfortable, maybe even nervous, about giving JoAnne the news. We know this because of what the viewpoint character is able to observe: the fiddling with knickknacks and his frequent clearing of the throat.

When we’re revealing the emotion of a NVPC, we can’t utilize all the same techniques that we could for the protagonist, but we can use the ones that are noticeable by others, such as:

• body language
• facial expressions
• vocal shifts
• changes in posture and personal space

Technique #2: The Viewpoint Character’s Response

Mr. Paxton’s fussing and throat clearing aren’t enough to show exactly what he’s feeling because they could represent numerous things, such as restlessness, excitement, or nervousness. But JoAnne’s response to these clues clarifies his state.

Through her thoughts, we learn that her boss is reluctant to give her the news; that information provides some much-needed context to help us understand what Mr. Paxton is feeling. Thoughts can work well to show the viewpoint character’s response; so can body language and the decisions they make during or following an interaction.

Technique #3: Dialogue and Vocal Cues

When we’re feeling emotional, one of the ways it comes through is in our speech patterns. Sometimes this can be shown through vocal cues (changes in pitch, tone, speed of speech, word usage, etc.), such as Mr. Paxton’s hesitations.

It can also be shown through the words themselves—say, if a character is ranting about the events leading up to his current emotional state. The reader will be able to combine this verbal context with the nonverbal body language to figure out what emotion is being felt.

Technique #4: Avoidances

If a NVPC’s emotions are uncomfortable ones, this can lead them to avoid certain things associated with them: a person, a place, a situation, specific questions, or a topic of conversation.

One of the clues to Mr. Paxton’s emotional state is his procrastination—how he’s putting off the difficult job of letting JoAnne go. She’s been sitting there a while, long enough to get pretty worked up as she watches him dither. His avoidance of the conversation itself shows a high level of discomfort, putting his emotional state into perspective for the reader.

Technique #5: Fight, Flight, or Freeze Reactions

When a character feels threatened, certain emotions will come into play. In these situations, a character may get confrontational, beat a hasty exit, or turn into the proverbial deer in the headlights.

Just as real-life people have a fight, flight, or freeze response to threatening scenarios, characters should, too. If you know which way your character leans, you can write their reactions in a way that readers (who are familiar with these responses) will be able to identify the emotion at work.

Technique #6: Changes to the Character’s Baseline

One vital part of writing emotion well is doing some research beforehand to figure out your character’s emotional range. This enables you to write him or her consistently throughout the story.

Then, when something happens that impacts their emotions, they’ll deviate from that norm, and readers will notice the shift. Changes in the voice, speech patterns, body language, how the character interacts with or responds to others, new avoidances—anything that alters their typical behavior can become a red flag for readers, letting them know that emotions are in flux.

As you can see, you have a lot of resources when it comes to writing the emotions of non-viewpoint characters. Some of them can work in isolation, but many of them should be used in tandem to help clarify things for the reader.

Use some visible body language while also noting the viewpoint character’s response to it. Show the character’s avoidance along with a persistent vocal cue to make the emotion clear. Use a flight response to a seemingly unthreatening situation along with a bit of dialogue to shed some light on what’s happening.

With a combination of these techniques, you’ll be able to paint a complete picture of any non-viewpoint character’s emotions without hopping heads and pulling readers out of the story.

For more information on showing character emotion effectively, check out the 2nd edition of The Emotion Thesaurus and this list of resources.

BECCA PUGLISI

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

The post How to Show Emotion for Non-Viewpoint Characters appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

Almost every character should have their own voice—their distinctive way of communicating their worldview.

To illustrate, here are three lines from Harry Potter that reveal Hermione’s, Ron’s, and Harry’s individual voices, respectively.

“Don’t go picking a row with Malfoy, don’t forget, he’s a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you…”

“Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?”

“I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.”

Because Hermione believes in following rules, she regularly tells Ron and Harry to do likewise, and she’s often very logical about it. Ron, however, tends to be a little coarser than the other two and usually says comical one-liners. Finally, Harry, who is always associated with trouble, often has to defend and explain himself.

When boiled down to its most basic parts, voice is made up of two things:

What the Character Talks (or Thinks) about + How She Says it = Voice

What Your Character Talks About

What someone chooses to talk about (and not talk about) reveals character. It reveals worldview, personality, and priorities. For this reason, it’s often helpful to work from the inside out. Knowing your character’s wants, needs, flaws, fears, and layers, will make crafting their voice easier. With that said, it’s also okay to work from the outside in, especially for side characters. You may craft a pleasing voice that then indicates who the character is.

In The Lord of the Rings, the Hobbits often talk about food. They eat a lot more than other characters so food is a higher priority for them. Because they bring up food a lot, we know it’s what they are thinking about a lot. They don’t casually strike up conversations about advanced battle tactics; they don’t have a war-based background. And any conversation they do have about battle tactics wouldn’t be on the same level as a warrior.

So, their culture, interests, and experiences influence their voices. And because they come from similar places, they talk about similar things. However, each Hobbit still has his own voice (because each Hobbit has his own personality). While Pippin would ask about second breakfast without a second thought, Frodo wouldn’t say anything.

How Your Character Talks

Just as the character’s background and personality influence what she talks about, they also influence how she talks. Education, age, and social circles will factor in as well. You will want to consider word choice and speech patterns, and when appropriate, slang and dialect. The character’s dominating emotions can also play into their voice’s tone.

Listen to how Samwise Gamgee talks:

“It’s like the great stories, Mr. Frodo . . . Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think I do, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. . . . . Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going.”

Notice words like “Mr. Frodo,” and “folk,” help establish Sam’s voice. Pretend, instead, Gandalf said this. The word choices and speech patterns would be different. Instead of “lots of chances” he might say “many opportunities.” He might pause in different places and use different sentence structures. He’s far more educated and experienced than Sam, so he’d say those same thoughts in a different way.

Character Voice in Viewpoint

Whether in first person or third person, most stories today are written from the point of view of a character (usually the protagonist). This means that character’s voice will influence the narration. However, actually getting that on the page can be a little tricky. Here are three quick tips.

Regularly Write in Deep POV

“Point of view penetration” refers to how deep the writer gets into the character’s perspective. At the deepest level, the prose takes on the thoughts and attitudes of the character. This is the most effective place to be to get voice on the page (learn more).

Utilize Similes and Metaphors

What your viewpoint character chooses to compare something to will tell us a lot about him. If he compares the color of the sky to the white static on the television, we know he spends more time around or thinking about t.v. than he does nature.

Add Lines that Speak to Worldview

Watch for opportunities to slide in a worldview your character has about something that comes up. Maybe someone your viewpoint character is listening to references the police. Assuming it suits the passage, go ahead and slide in a brief line that clues us into what that character thinks about the police. To them, are they “pigs”? People to avoid? Or protectors?

Here are some more dos and don’ts of getting your viewpoint character’s voice on the page.

SEPTEMBER C FAWKES - Resident Writing Coach

September C. Fawkes is a freelance editor, writing instructor, and award-winning writing tip blogger. She has edited for award-winning and best-selling authors as well as beginning writers. Her blog won the Writer’s Digest 101 Best Websites for Writers Award, Query Letter’s Top Writing Blog Award and has over 500 writing tips. She offers a live online writing course, “The Triarchy Method,” where she personally guides 10 students through developing their best books by focusing on the “bones” of story.

To learn more, visit SeptemberCFawkes.com and grab her AMAZING free guide on Crafting Powerful Protagonists. Find out more about our RWC team here and connect with September below.

The post How to Showcase Your Character’s Unique Voice appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.

Like us in the real world, characters will struggle. Life is never all cherries and diamonds; in fact, it’s our writerly job to make sure reality fish-slaps our characters with painful life lessons! Big or small, these psychologically difficult moments will cause them to retreat and protect themselves emotionally, believing if they do so, it will prevent them from feeling exposed and hurt in the future.

And while we know “shielding” behavior is psychologically sound (we do it, too) and it means our characters will try to hide it when they feel vulnerable, this causes a real problem at the keyboard end of things. Why? Because no matter how hard a character is trying to hide or hold back their emotions, we writers must still show them. For readers to connect, they have to be part of that emotional experience.

(Reason #63027 why writing is HARD, right?)

A wounding event also causes emotional sensitivities to form, meaning your character may overreact when certain feelings draw near. A man who was mugged may verbally lash out at a stranger who touches his arm to ask for directions. A teenager may be unable to answer an easy question in class after forgetting the words to a song during her school’s talent show.

Not only can our characters be easily be triggered and give into their flight, flight, and freeze instincts, they may also project feelings onto others, deny them, become self-destructive, act out, or a host of other things…all of which we will need to show in a way that fits the character’s personality, comfort zone, and circumstances. It’s a tall order.

Three Tips to Show Emotion Well…Hidden or Not

1. Know your character. So crucial. It’s the key to everything, so when you have a second, read this post to find out why. (No point reinventing the wheel.)
   
2. Understand the character’s emotional range. Their “baseline” comfort zone & preferences are tied to their personality and will guide you to emotional expressiveness that will align with who they are, meaning what they do, say, and experience will ring true to readers.
   
3. To avoid telling, think about the many unique ways emotion can be expressed. Writers can sometimes rely too much on expressions or gestures, so think past that steely glare or stomping foot. These tip sheets are gold:

Click here to download these tip sheets (and many more!)

Another challenge when it comes to showing readers what our characters feel is that emotions rarely show up alone. Most situations or events generate a mix of feelings, some of which may conflict with one another. For example, a character may feel…

• Anxiety over what comes next while feeling relieved at being spared a worse fate
• Happiness at an outcome yet being worried about what loved ones will say
• Elation at winning but beneath it, insecurity over whether it was truly deserved
• Gratitude at surviving along with the crushing guilt that comes with doing so when others were not so lucky

I think we can all think of moments like these. A surge of emotion hits, and we laugh through our tears, collapse in jubilation, or even attack a loved one for delivering news that nearly destroys us. While it takes a greater effort to show multiple and/or conflicting emotions, experiencing more than one thing at once is true-to-life, and so can make these story moments more genuine and gripping.

Three Tips for Showing Multiple or Conflicting Emotions

1. With multiple emotions, show them in order. For example, if a sibling were to jump out and scare the protagonist as she’s heading down the hall toward her room, she’ll feel fear, then relief, then mock-anger. If you showed this, it might go like this: jumping back with a shriek, sagging against the wall, and then charging her sibling and shoving him to the ground.
   
2. If you need to, slow things down a touch. Focus description on what is causing the character to feel a specific emotion (stimulus), and then show what they do because of it (reaction). This helps readers see an event, person, situation, etc. is affecting a character and directing their behavior, action, and choices.
   
3. If the emotions are complicated or in conflict, you can also use a carefully placed thought (if it’s a POV character) or dialogue (if not). The important thing is to show the context of what’s happening. This doesn’t mean to fall into the trap of telling, rather to use realistic thoughts, questions, or comments that indicate something is influencing your character’s emotions (and therefore explains their actions).

Showing compelling emotion can be challenging, but thankfully there are many, many terrific ways to do it well. With effort, using a mix of expressions, behaviors, dialogue, thoughts, visceral sensations, vocal cues (and more!) will convey our character’s personal moments authentically, drawing readers in.

Need More Help?

The Emotion Thesaurus provides a starting point for emotion, providing lists of ideas on how it can be shown, which writers then adapt and tailor to each character’s unique personality and way of expressing. This guide is packed with advice on how to show emotion that draws readers into the character’s experience. It’s helped hundreds of thousands of writers improve their emotional showing, and if you struggle in this area, maybe it can help you, too.

I hope these tips help. Happy writing to all!

ANGELA ACKERMAN

Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers, a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.

The post Describing a Character’s Emotions: Problems and Solutions appeared first on WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®.