I agree that there is so much to learn about giving and receiving critique, Angela.

It’s one of those things we only get better at through trial and error. I know with my first critique group I thought everyone was so smart, and valued their opinions so much, but what I didn’t realize was in taking ALL of their suggestions I was muting my voice. I really credit my learning & work in critique groups with giving me the ability to stand up and advocate for the story I want to tell & how I need to tell it.

The time in critique groups also makes it much easier to take editor/agent feedback, because I don’t take everything as personally as when I first started.

A big part of navigating this process is learning how to build up our writer’s intuition so we can sort feedback into what will help the story and where we can improve it, and what takes the story in a different direction. I think too, early on there’s a lot if insecurity about our skills, and so there’s a feeling that “others know better,” and we should listen to them…and this isn’t always the case.