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Emotional Wound: Growing Up In Foster Care

Published: April 30, 2016 by ANGELA ACKERMAN

When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.

Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.

NOTE: We realize that sometimes a wound we profile may have personal meaning, stirring up the past for some of our readers. It is not our intent to create emotional turmoil. Please know that we research each wounding topic carefully to treat it with the utmost respect. 

We hope the sample list of ideas below will help you see how emotional trauma will influence your character’s behavior and mindset. For the full entry of this and over 100 other emotional wounds, check into our bestselling resource, The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression.

Growing Up In Foster Care

Examples:

  • Parents who passed away (and having no relatives in the picture)
  • Parents who were incapable of care because they were drug addicts
  • Parents who were incarcerated for a crime and their child became a ward of the state…

Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization

False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:

  • I am defective
  • People are inherently cruel
  • I am unworthy of love…

Positive Attributes That May Result: adaptable, alert, analytical, cautious, courageous, disciplined, idealistic, imaginative, independent, introverted, just, loyal…

Negative Traits That May Result: abrasive, addictive, antisocial, apathetic, confrontational, cruel, cynical, devious, dishonest, evasive, hostile, inhibited, insecure…

Resulting Fears:

  • fear of loving and losing
  • fear of rejection
  • fear of poverty…

Possible Habits That May Emerge:

  • keeping secrets
  • lying or making up untruths even when it isn’t important
  • telling people what they want to hear
  • being highly private
  • being highly protective of one’s possessions or close relationships…

TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus. For our current list of Emotional Wound Entries, go here. And for a boatload of practical information on how to incorporate wounds into your story, see our collection of posts on this topic.

For other Descriptive Thesaurus Collections, go here.

Which emotional wounds are haunting your characters?

Emotional wounds are incredibly formative, changing how a character views the world, causing trust issues, damaging their self-worth, dictating how they will interact with other people, and making it harder for them to achieve their goals. As such, understanding your character’s wound is vitally important to your overall story.

To learn more, we recommend The Emotional Wound Thesaurus. This writing guide explores emotional trauma and what it will look like for your character and their journey in the story. It highlights 120+ possible wounding events and helps you brainstorm how each might play out in your story so you can write your character’s behaviors, attitudes, fears, and insecurities with authenticity.

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ANGELA ACKERMAN
ANGELA ACKERMAN

Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers, a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.

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Filed Under: Emotional Wound Thesaurus

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. vshaw3554 says

    August 5, 2021 at 12:28 pm

    I think writing Foster Home story but if there any idea you could help please?

    • BECCA PUGLISI says

      August 5, 2021 at 1:09 pm

      Hi there! If you’re looking for resources on foster homes, this Emotional Wound Thesaurus entry is a good place to start. You can find it in full at our subscription site, One Stop for Writers. We also have a Setting Thesaurus entry on a Group Foster Home that you might find useful.

  2. Valen says

    October 31, 2019 at 1:03 am

    I was a foster child and this actually was almost completely on-point. There were a couple of traits I would’ve added such as:
    •maturity at early ages/ acting older than the character’s age
    •extremely protective of those they love
    •clingy sometimes
    •described as the ‘therapist’ of friend groups
    stays alone
    •can develop mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, ect.
    •calm/manneristic
    •very meticulous of word choice and eloquency
    •quiet, sometimes described as shy, doesn’t like to meet new people
    •great listeners and give amazing advice because they’ve grown up too quick and they’ve adopted responsibilities that young children shouldn’t have to adopt

    • BECCA PUGLISI says

      October 31, 2019 at 8:15 am

      Thanks so much for your insight, Valen. As with any research, first-hand experience is the most reliable, so I appreciate you sharing this to round out our incomplete narrative.

  3. terry gene says

    April 30, 2016 at 11:22 am

    This is great. Great material to flesh out Cissy in novels 2, 3 and 4.
    One of my MC’s lost her mother at age 6 and was taken in by a loving couple who weren’t relatives. No formal process as they never could find out who she was. She became rebellious, homicidal, but they always responded with active love and got her through her bad years and into college.

    • ANGELA ACKERMAN says

      May 1, 2016 at 1:46 pm

      Very glad this one in particular will be helpful to you Terry!

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