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Character Secret Thesaurus Entry: Hiding a Sexual Relationship

Published: November 23, 2024 by ANGELA ACKERMAN

What secret is your character keeping? Why are they safeguarding it? What’s at stake if it’s discovered? Does it need to come out at some point, or should it remain hidden?

This is some of the important information you need to know about your character’s secrets—and they will have secrets, because everyone does. They’re thorny little time bombs composed of fear, deceit, stress, and conflict that, when detonated, threaten to destroy everything the character holds dear.

So, of course, you should assemble them. And we can’t wait to help.

This thesaurus provides brainstorming fodder for a host of secrets that could plague your character. Use it to explore possible secrets, their underlying causes, how they might play into the overall story, and how to realistically write a character who is hiding them—all while establishing reader empathy and interest.

Maybe your character is…

Hiding a Sexual Relationship

ABOUT THIS SECRET
In general, characters don’t discuss who they’re intimate with, but occasionally it becomes a guarded secret as discovery could mean difficult or painful consequences. An age gap, being from different societal classes, a forbidden pairing due to a feud, danger, or a taboo might all be reasons others would condemn and seek to end this relationship. This entry covers scenarios where the characters involved are happy with these encounters and wish them to continue.

SPECIFIC FEARS THAT MAY DRIVE THE NEED FOR SECRECY: A Secret Being Revealed, Abandonment, Being Attacked, Being Judged, Being Labelled, Being Separated from Loved Ones, Being Unsafe, Humiliation, Letting Others Down, Losing Autonomy, Losing One’s Social Standing, Losing the Respect of Others, Never Finding Happiness, Persecution

HOW THIS SECRET COULD HOLD THE CHARACTER BACK
Creating distance in important relationships to avoid accidental discovery
Carrying the weight of guilt (if the character knows this secret will hurt others)
Being unable to talk about something that brings joy
Stress over telling lies, manufacturing excuses, and courting the danger of discovery

BEHAVIORS OR HABITS THAT HELP HIDE THIS SECRET
Arranging meetups for times when other people are busy or absent
Having an activity near the partner’s location to have a legitimate reason for being there
Cultivating trust with others to allow for freedom of movement
Following a protocol (going out when the family is asleep, avoiding the same hotel, etc.)

ACTIVITIES OR TENDENCIES THAT MAY RAISE SUSPICIONS
An observer overhearing a conversation, especially one that contains suggestive innuendo
Being caught somewhere the character shouldn’t be
Being caught purchasing a gift intended for the partner
Losing track of time often, causing others to notice a pattern of absences

SITUATIONS THAT MAKE KEEPING THIS SECRET A CHALLENGE 
Increased scrutiny of the character
Being caught in a lie
Being discovered half-dressed or in bed together
Parental expectations that it’s time to “settle down with someone”

Other Secret Thesaurus entries can be found here.

Need More Descriptive Help?

While this thesaurus is still being developed, the rest of our descriptive collection (18 unique thesauri and growing) is accessible through the One Stop for Writers THESAURUS database.

If you like, swing by and check out the video walkthrough for this site, then give our Free Trial a spin.


ANGELA ACKERMAN
ANGELA ACKERMAN

Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers, a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.

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Related

Filed Under: About Us, Basic Human Needs, Character Arc, Character Flaws, Character Secret Thesaurus, Character Secrets, Character Traits, Character Wound, Characters, Conflict, Description, Fatal Flaw, High Stakes, Inner conflict, Plotting, Relationships, Show Don't Tell, Story Ideas, Subtext, Tension, Tools and Resources, Uncategorized, What Characters Keep Private, Writing Craft, Writing Lessons

Reader Interactions

Trackbacks

  1. Secrets in stories – A Quirky Little Blog says:
    December 3, 2024 at 1:33 am

    […] I came across this article by Angela Ackerman this morning. She writes about the secrets our book characters have, and how writers might weave them into the story. This article is specifically about sexual relationships the character wants to keep secret. […]

  2. Weekly News: 2nd December 2024 - Author Help says:
    December 2, 2024 at 4:15 am

    […] a character hiding a sexual relationship can affect a […]

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